Belief in Ghosts and the Ghost of Belief

We used to be afraid of ghosts, though now I believe they do not exist. Yet the fear of ghosts still lingers in my mind. Why it remains is another matter, open to debate. Occasionally, I have tried to forget, and even now I wish to forget that ghosts exist. But I cannot; I have not succeeded. Why I cannot forget, why the fear persists, is also open to discussion. My mind still questions: do ghosts really not exist? Do supernatural occurrences not still happen frequently? Who has not witnessed eerie, inexplicable events? Do we not still consult shamans to ward off the effects of ghosts? No matter how educated we are, no matter how modern our lives, ghosts still haunt us.

Let us leave the present aside for now and speak of the ghosts of childhood.

As a child, the fear of ghosts would appear at night. Walking alone in the dark made me shiver with fear, even on a hot night. I did not want to step outside the house, nor go anywhere alone. But the latrine was on the far side of the pond. The greatest fear came from passing near graves or cremation grounds, even during the day. If a large banyan tree stood near a graveyard or cremation ground, I was certain a ghost dwelled there. I also believed that ghosts would travel from one graveyard or cremation ground to another, gathering on trees. Even large trees by the roadside or dense thickets could harbour ghosts.

Who did not know that ghosts reside in banyan trees? In our time, ghosts were usually seen at night. Even if we kept doors and windows closed, we could sense their silent movements and rustlings. The window next to my study table remained open during the day while I read, yet my eyes often wandered from the book to the window, across the footpath, to the ditch leading to the fields, to the fields themselves, to the ponds and cemeteries, and further to distant villages. I would think about who lived there. At night, if I forgot to close the window, I imagined ghostly fires rising from the graveyard bushes. They would flare and then vanish. Though my uncle claimed that ghosts did not exist, I never believed him. When the sun rose and the day was bright, ghosts could no longer be seen. I knew then, and still know, that ghosts do not appear in daylight. But they could hide in banyan trees, in forests, in disguise—I never forgot that.

In those days, light was scarce. Kerosene was the only fuel. Poor households had dimly flickering lamps. Shadows cast by the lamp often seemed ghostly; if someone moved the lamp, the shadows shifted and then returned to stillness. Even the movement of the oil in a hurricane lamp due to oil shortage or a draft seemed ghostly.

Except for some cities, villages across the country were shrouded in darkness at night—something few would believe now. Electrification in villages was not a common experience. We hoped for electricity. When poles came, lines were installed, and electricity arrived, it did not illuminate the villages fully. Electrification and illumination are not the same, some still say. Just as being educated does not mean being enlightened, having electricity did not mean villages were bright. Lately, I hear that darkness is increasing everywhere, while some argue that light will eventually come. We cannot live without light.

As children, we prepared for the nightfall. We cleaned the chimneys of our hurricane lamps, filled lamps with oil, and lit the lamps before sunset. Still, not every corner was illuminated. Darkness was never fully dispelled. Even today, not every corner is lit. Ghostly disturbances can still be felt everywhere. The fear of ghosts is still strongest within the mind. First, that ghost must be driven away; light must be kindled in the heart. The ghosts of the mind cannot be chased away by external light. Illuminated people are needed to dispel the mind’s ghosts. It requires willpower and initiative. There is much flickering light, yet belief in ghosts persists. To drive away the ghosts within, light must be kindled in the mind. That awareness is missing in most of this country. The sense to light the inner light must be awakened and encouraged. To light that light requires courage, goodwill, and love of country.

Author: Fiction Writer

Khaborwala/TSN